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Phoebe Prince story: Much more than meets the eye

July 22, 2010 By Anne 7 Comments

If parents want insights into both the Phoebe Prince tragedy and how bullying can develop in a high school today, read this in-depth piece in Slate.com. The writer, Emily Bazelon, was reporting this story for months, publishing interim pieces of it as the news broke from South Hadley, Mass. “My investigation into the events that gave rise to Phoebe’s death, based on extensive interviews and review of law enforcement records, reveals the uncomfortable fact that Phoebe helped set in motion the conflicts with other students that ended in them turning on her. Her death was tragic, and she shouldn’t have been bullied. But she was deeply troubled long before she ever met the six defendants. And her own behavior made other students understandably upset,” Bazelon writes.

By seeing the complexity of this case, maybe parents, educators, law enforcement people, and news media will understand how unrealistic it is to place blame quickly or assign it to any single entity (e.g., the school, “the bully” or bullying peer group, or the parents). Even when there’s a suicide, which suggests a clear target of social cruelty, a more granular examination usually shows that victimization gets spread around – and spread around very quickly, when digital technology is one of its distribution tools. I agree with Bazelon where she writes that “the charges against the students show how strong the impulse is to point fingers after a suicide, how hard it is to assess blame fairly, and how ill-suited police and prosecutors can be to punishing bullies.”

I deeply hope that, as a society, we’ll get more thoughtful in dealing with cyberbullying in the following ways: that we’ll…

  1. Not see it as “the new world of online cruelty,” a tagline with which Bazelon’s editors headed her article, because the cruelty part is not some new unknown we suddenly have to figure out how to address
  2. See cyberbullying, like bullying, as a behavioral issue (not a technology issue) for which we seek the help of counselors, psychologists, and other mental healthcare and risk-prevention practitioners
  3. Not reflexively bring in law enforcement and other experts on crime rather than adolescent development (emphasis on “reflexively”; thoughtful law enforcement support can help a lot, certainly if criminal intent is detected)
  4. See that punishment alone – whether suspension, expulsion, or prosecution – is a blunt-instrument approach to adolescent behavior and rarely resolves the struggles of the targeted student(s) or the bullying student(s)
  5. Treat incidents as opportunities from which as many people as possible – and ideally the school community as a whole – can learn the importance of perspective-taking and respect for self and others.

“In the end,” Bazelon writes in her conclusion to Part 3 of her series (see below for links), “the next chapter of the South Hadley bullying story isn’t really about innocence versus guilt. It’s about proportional versus disproportional punishment.” Right – for now – but I hope ultimately it’s much less about punishment and much more about healing – learning from such cases, lessening the impact of bullying on everyone involved, and then collectively seeing the need for and building a culture of respect in school communities.

Related links

  • Part 2, the DA: Bazelon looks at the role of District Attorney Elizabeth Scheibel in this bullying case – “The Aggressive D.A. Who Has Charged Six Kids in Connection With Phoebe’s Death” – as well as other prosecuted cases of bullying and harassment in this part of Massachusetts
  • Part 3, the school: In which the DA’s office says the school didn’t do its job (and Bazelon shows how the school did bear some, though not all, responsibility)
  • About parenting in the midst of today’s digital drama overload
  • Recent cyberbullying posts here in NetFamilyNews: “Bullies & victims: More similarities than differences,” “Really sound cyberbullying advice for parents, schools,” “Schools’ cyberbullying quandary,” “Bullying, cyberbullying & suicide: New study,” “The ‘era of behavior’ online too,” “Why anti-bullying laws don’t work: School psychologist’s view,” “Click, cliques & cyberbullying: Whole school response is key,” “Formspring: What’s going on around it,” and “Citizenship & the social Web mirror in our faces 24/7“
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Filed Under: bullying, cyberbullying, Law & Policy, Risk & Safety, School & Tech, school policy, Social Media, suicide Tagged With: bullying, cyberbullying, Elizabeth Scheibel, Emily Bazelon, online aggression, Phoebe Prince, school policy, Slate, South Hadley

Reader Interactions

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  1. Cyberbullying: Can schools intervene? - Connect Safely says:
    April 29, 2013 at 9:22 pm

    […] “When schools can discipline off-campus behavior” with a number of legal experts* “Phoebe Prince [bullying] story: Much more than meets the eye” * “Really sound cyberbullying advice for parents, schools” * “Schools’ […]

    Reply
  2. Cyberbullying: What I’ve learned so far | NetFamilyNews.org says:
    October 11, 2011 at 5:55 pm

    […] The thing about the egregious cases that have ended in suicide is that they’re all unique – about as individual as the targeted child (most probably because there can be so many causative factors in their lives besides cruel peer behavior). Megan Meier’s experience was entirely different from Phoebe Prince’s or Ryan Halligan’s (see this about Phoebe’ story) […]

    Reply
  3. Cyberbullying and … second chances? | NetFamilyNews.org says:
    October 4, 2010 at 5:40 pm

    […] “Phoebe Prince story: Much more than meets the eye” // Share| Permalink Post a comment — Trackback URI RSS 2.0 feed for these comments This entry (permalink) was posted on Monday, October 4, 2010, at 4:18 pm by Anne. Filed in cyberbullying, cyberbullying law and tagged bullying, cyberbullying, cyberbullying law, forgiveness, justice, Phoebe Prince, prosecution, second chances, Tyler Clementi. […]

    Reply
  4. Cyberbullying: Can schools intervene? | NetFamilyNews.org says:
    October 3, 2010 at 4:18 pm

    […] “Phoebe Prince [bullying] story: Much more than meets the eye” […]

    Reply
  5. Fresh takes on ‘cyberbullying’ & how to deal with it | NetFamilyNews.org says:
    September 10, 2010 at 3:58 pm

    […] past posts here at NFN: “Phoebe Prince story: Much more than meets the eye”; “Schools’ cyberbullying quandary”; “Really sound cyberbullying advice for […]

    Reply
  6. Phoebe Prince’s dad prefers leniency | NetFamilyNews.org says:
    August 2, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    […] from this tragic case in western Massachusetts (and links to Bazelon's series), see my recent post "Phoebe Prince story: Much more than meets the eye."] // Share| Permalink Post a comment — Trackback URI RSS 2.0 feed for these […]

    Reply
  7. Tweets that mention Phoebe Prince story: Much more than meets the eye | NetFamilyNews.org -- Topsy.com says:
    July 22, 2010 at 6:57 pm

    […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by annecollier, marianmerritt. marianmerritt said: RT @annecollier: New blog post: Phoebe Prince story: Much more than meets the eye http://nfn.wpengine.com/?p=29247 […]

    Reply

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2016 TEDx Talk on
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IMPORTANT RESOURCES

Our (DIGITAL) PARENTING BASICS: Safety + Social
NAMLE, the National Association for Media Literacy Education
CASEL.org & the 5 core social-emotional competencies of SEL
Center for Democracy & Technology
Center for Innovative Public Health Research
Childnet International
Committee for Children
Congressional Internet Caucus Academy
ConnectSafely.org
Control Shift: a pivotal book for Internet safety
Crimes Against Children Research Center
Crisis Textline
Cyber Civil Rights Initiative's Revenge Porn Crisis Line
Cyberwise.org
danah boyd's blog and book about networked youth
Disconnected, Carrie James's book on digital ethics
FOSI.org's Good Digital Parenting
The research of Global Kids Online
The Good Project at Harvard's School of Education
If you watch nothing else: "Parenting in a Digital Age" TED Talk by Prof. Sonia Livingstone
The International Bullying Prevention Association
Let Grow Foundation
Making Caring Common
Raising Digital Natives, author Devorah Heitner's site
Renee Hobbs at the Media Education Lab
MediaSmarts.ca
The New Media Literacies
Report of the Aspen Task Force on Learning & the Internet and our guide to Creating Trusted Learning Environments
The Ruler Approach to social-emotional learning (Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence)
Sources of Strength
"Young & Online: Perspectives on life in a digital age" from young people in 26 countries (via UNICEF)
"Youth Safety on a Living Internet": 2010 report of the Online Safety & Technology Working Group (and my post about it)

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